News on LISA and Some Personal Stuff

LISA NEWS...

The LISA Symposium was in Paris this week and the result of this meeting was a strengthening of the efforts to put a gravitational-wave detector into space and the formation of the eLISA Consortium.  Below is a statement issued by the Consortium:

Getting ready for next time:

European gravitational wave community strengthens its space collaboration

During the 9th international LISA Symposium, held May 21 – 25 in Paris, the international LISA* community analyzed the new situation after ESA´s decision to choose JUICE for Europe´s next large space science mission. As the eLISA** mission, despite not being selected, was reported to have been unanimously ranked first by ESA´s scientific review committee in terms of scientific interest, strategic value for science and strategic value for the projects in Europe, the community is in good spirits: this is the first time that any space agency committee has ranked a gravitational wave observatory as its highest scientific priority. In order to prepare a strongest possible bid for the next launch opportunity the community has decided to continue its collaboration as the self-funded and independent eLISA consortium.

Besides preparing for the next competition the consortium will strongly support ESA's LISA Pathfinder mission, whose launch in 2014 will finally open the door to approval of a full gravitational wave mission. LPF will demonstrate key gravity-measuring technologies in space for the first time, preparing the way not only for gravitational wave detectors but also for next-generation Earth and planetary gravimetry.

The eLISA consortium consists of a management board, a steering committee, and working groups in science, technology and data analysis. It represents the European states involved in eLISA, i.e. Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Spain, Switzerland, and UK. The consortium is led by Prof. Dr. Karsten Danzmann, who chaired the former LISA International Science Team and is a director at the Max Planck Institute for Gravitational Physics (Albert Einstein Institute/AEI) and a professor at the Leibniz Universität in Hannover, Germany.

“Our goal is to keep this highly motivated and effective scientific community together. It has attracted many young and excellent researchers. The knowledge and innovative potential of our community is documented in more than 2000 published scientific papers - we want to keep it working on a strong science, technology and data analysis programme”, says Karsten Danzmann, describing the role of the eLISA consortium.

Colleagues from the US, China and possibly other interested countries will be invited to participate. At the LISA Symposium, US participants presented results on a comparative study of low-cost LISA variants and expressed interest in contributing to an ESA-led mission. And for the first time, a large Chinese delegation participated in the LISA Symposium and announced their scientific interest in a close collaboration on a gravitational wave mission. The Chinese Academy of Sciences and the Chinese Space Agency are developing their own plans for a gravitational wave detector in space.  

LISA*: Laser Interferometer Space Antenna

eLISA**: evolved Laser Interferometer Space Antenna, also known as NGO (New Gravitational-Wave Observatory)

PERSONAL STUFF...

It's been a long while since I posted on here about myself.  One of the reasons I started this blog was that I wanted to humanize scientists and the work they do; you wouldn't believe how often visitors tell me that I'm not what they expected from a scientist (they mean that as a compliment) or that I was more normal than they expected.  I pulled back on writing much about myself simply because I wasn't nearly as interesting as I first thought.  I can be summed up pretty well by: loves vampires, has migraines, and is sometimes insecure about her professional worth.  (This post is even being published a day late because a migraine.)


But there has been some excitement in my life.  Over the last two weeks I have been catching up on all of my routine doctors appointments I have been putting off due to my work schedule and my husband's (and we share a car since we work at the same place).  He was out of town for nearly 2 weeks so I had the car to myself!  I've seen by dermatologist (I am very fair skinned and I get checked out for skin cancer), my gynecologist, my dentist, my cardiologist, and my urologist.  The good news is that everything is going well even though I was up to 6 months behind on being seen.  The bad news is that I've let my depression get the better of me these past few months and I didn't realize what a bad place I was in until I had time to myself.

I've been wondering whether or not to talk about this on my blog since I have had some outright ignorant reactions when I mention that I have depression.  But, May is Mental Health Month and I would like to talk a little about dealing with depression and anxiety and why you should seek treatment if you suffer from this as well.

I was an anxious little kid who was sad a lot.  As I grew up and started to have more adult problems, these tendencies became more pronounced.  It took a traumatic event for a doctor to recommend treatment for depression.  This treatment took some time to work, but when it did I realized that I had basically lived my whole life depressed to some extent and simply thought that was what normal was.  I don't need constant treatment for it, but if I'm not careful depression can sneak up on me so slowly that I don't notice it happening until it becomes horrible.  That is what happened for me recently and even then it took a doctor to bring the point up (I guess I'm not as good at covering it up as I thought I was).  I'm being treated again and things are starting to look brighter.  At least I don't feel alone and isolated even when I am surrounded by friends and colleagues.

My point is, if you think you are depressed or feel anxious for extended periods of time, talk to a doctor, medical or psychological.  I've been told to just "get over it" or called weak because I have sought treatment for my depression.  Well, will power can only help you look like nothing is wrong but you will still be depressed.  And I have discovered that most of the people who call me weak have similar problems of their own that they won't seek help for.  Truly, treating my depression is the best thing that I have ever done and I am not sure if I would be where I am today if I had not.

Meeting Aftermath

I flew home to Louisiana from the LIGO-Virgo Meeting in California on Saturday.  The rest of this week has been a bit crazy for me since! 

I have been preparing for a talk I am giving at Rice University on Monday (the ad for it is here).  I love giving overview talks on LIGO and its potential so I am very much looking forward to it.  That being said, I don't do 'canned' talks (those are talks that are generic enough to be given with little notice and to varied audiences).  Well, I just lied a little - I do have a very basic talk that introduces LIGO to an audience that has little or no previous knowledge about gravitational waves.  I think that I have given that talk 4 times.  The talk I am giving at Rice is very different in that I am talking to other physicists (faculty and students) who are knowledgeable in physics, but are not experts on relativity or gravitational waves.  The most difficult part is figuring out how best to pitch the talk so that everyone stays interested but no one gets lost.  And then there is the issue of what cool things to talk about and what other things to leave out (I only have a 55 min slot and that includes time for audience questions).  Those are some of the hardest choices.

And then life always likes to make everything more complicated...

I was having an odd toothache since just before the I left for the meeting.  I got the first dentist appointment that was available to have it looked at.  I made a horrible mistake of taking some Advil before my appointment (it hurt) which made it difficult for him to figure out what was going on (since it didn't hurt anymore then).  Since there was something suspicious on my X-rays he was worried that I may need a root canal and that would need a specialist my roots on that tooth are curved irregularly.  So off to the root canal doctor the next day (no stress - it's not that I'm scared of a root canal, I just had so much work to do, a talk to polish and I didn't want to be recovering from a root canal while giving the talk).  GOOD NEWS!  It turns out that I brush my teeth with a little bit more enthusiasm than in healthy for my gums.  I have a little bit of recession which exposes a bit of dentin which causes sensitivity and repeatedly exposing those teeth to cold/hot/sweet/etc. was causing the ache.  I don't think the root canal doctor gets someone to smile as big to him as I did when he told me I needed some Sensodyne toothpaste and not a root canal!

<sigh>  It is a little odd writing my mundane blog posts after the post about the "Big Dog" blind injection got so much attention.  But the whole point of this blog is to let you see what it is like to be a LIGO scientist for real.  The bottom line is that there are some days where great and interesting things happen, but most days are just like everyone else's.  Right now, I need to clean up my house, I need to get groceries (I haven't gone for more than bread, etc. in a few weeks and I am out of everything), I have a pile of laundry with my name on it (and my husband's name since he helps out with that - I have a great man at my back) and a movie from Netflix that has been sitting by my TV for almost 3 weeks.  Yup.  This is my life and I like it just the way it is!

Here's a little LIGO fun to get you though the weekend.  This compilation of Beach Boys parodies was made by a group of LIGO REU (Research Experience for Undergraduates) summer students.  I guess we didn't keep them busy enough :)

 
Research experiences are priceless for physics students, especially those considering going on to graduate school.  If you are interested in the LIGO REU, you can find more information here.  It is too late to apply for this summer, but consider applying for next summer!  Most students end up working at Caltech (like the students in this video) but you may get to work/visit LIGO Livingston and meet me :P

What Have I Been Up To?

It has been a long time since I've updated and I don't feel good about that!

This time of year is always very busy in the LIGO community since one of our yearly meetings always takes place during the 3rd week of March (and it has been that way for at least a decade since I ALWAYS miss my little sister's birthday).  During the weeks leading up to the meeting, there is always a rush to get final results for whatever project a person is working on done and, when the meeting takes place during or after a science run, mature results on what we did or did not see.  That is exactly what I have been doing since my last post.

Well, that and seeing the inside of more doctors' offices than I care to think about.  I've been stuck more than a few times and had the wonderful experience of being covered in electrodes for three weeks on a heart monitor.  There's nothing to get worried about but since I had my minor kidney crisis over the summer, I have been working to resolve other issues I've previously shrugged off. 

I will be attending the LIGO-Virgo Meeting this week and will try to blog on a daily basis about what goes on at meetings like this.  It really is interesting watching how a large collaboration works towards the same goal.  Let me tell you, it is no easy feat; scientists are very opinionated and we have to all work together in order to be productive.  I can think of a few instances where this was more contentious than others but as a whole the LIGO and Virgo Collaborations have some of the nicest people I've ever met in them.  And they aren't paying me to say that :)

Oh, one more thing...  I got to give a tour of the LIGO Livingston facility to a visiting scientist friend who had never been to the site before.  This gave me the opportunity to take her into some of the clean (think dancing Intel guys in those shiny suits - but ours aren't shiny) areas where assembly of the new parts for Advanced LIGO are being put together.  I rarely get to do this since I am a data analyst who spends most of her day working on a computer, but I enlisted my engineer husband to give a the grand tour.  I got a picture of us together in the clean gear (there is more that needs to be worn when you will be touching the materials, but we weren't):

Can you tell I'm smiling?

I will write more from the meeting!

Doctors Appointments and Laser Safety

Yesterday was a long day of doctors appointments for me.  Since I was preoccupied much of this summer with my kidney stone, a few of my maintenance doctors visits got pushed to the back burner.

Appointment #1 - Family Medicine

My first appointment of the day started at the family doctor where both my husband and I had appointments (we try to sync appointments like this together since we only have one car and work far away from our doctors).  I was there for blood work and to have my new doctor work with me to get me off some of the many prescriptions my old doctor had me on (this is one of the reasons I changed doctors).  Everything is looking good there and I am pleased with the plan we are working on.

Appointment #2 - Dentist

I had an appointment with my dentist about a month and a half ago to have a filling fixed.  I was in the chair and all of the odds and ends and drill bits were set out when I mentioned to my dentist that, from time to time, I get a slight twitch under my right eye.  It was happening right then and he declared that he wouldn't touch me until I get confirmation from my neurologist that this dental work would not make it worse (he was worried that the anesthetic he intended to use would effect the same nerve he believed to be causing the twitch).  I told him that this is related to my TMJ and if I relax my jaw, it goes away.  He was still uncomfortable and sent me home.

So, with a note from my neurologist in hand, I returned and finally had this taken care of.

Appointment #3 - Eye Doctor

It has been a little over a year since I blew a blood vessel behind my retina and since I wore my contacts (the eye drops they had me used could not be used with contacts).  Now that my retina in better, I needed to see the eye doctor again to have my prescription renewed so I can order new contacts!  To my surprise, my prescription hasn't changed at all!  Yea!

My visit to my eye doctor reminded me of why I go to this particular doctor.  And the story starts the laser safety at LIGO...


Laser Safety at LIGO

When a new employee, student or visitor starts working at one of the LIGO observatories, they must undergo laser safety training especially if they will be working directly with the lasers or if they will be working around the lasers.

The laser used in the last data run here at LIGO was a 35 Watt Nd:YAG laser.  The first thing that makes this laser particularly dangerous is that it is powerful.  35 Watts is the equivalent of shining 35,000 of the common red laser pointers on the same spot (so that the dot is no bigger than if you were only using one laser).  That is plenty powerful enough to burn a hole in your retina and this is an injury that will NEVER heal.  If you are lucky you will simply have a blind spot in your peripheral vision and if you are unlucky you will be permanently blinded.  The other aspect that makes this laser dangerous is that is a wavelength (color) that you can't see.  The laser produces 1064 nm (about 0.0000419 in) wavelength light which is infrared.  Since we can't see the laser at all, it can be especially difficult to avoid it.  If even the reflection of this light (that you cannot see) enters your eye, you will have a burned retina.

For these and other reasons, everyone who will work with or around the lasers must undergo laser safety training, have their eyes examined, their retina photographed and wear laser safety goggles when around the detector.  That is how I came to see my eye doctor here in Baton Rouge for the first time.  This will also not be the last time I see this doctor...  Any time a that there is a suspected laser injury to the eye, that person is sent back to the eye doctor for the whole exam again.  They then compare the how the retina looks now to how it looked before the person started working around lasers (that's why they took the first retina picture) to determine what, if any, damage was done.  Also, when someone no longer works at LIGO, they must go for an exit exam to make sure that there was no damage done that they were unaware of.

I don't have any recent pictures of me in the awful green laser safety glasses, but I do have an old one from the first time I got to take a tour of the inner workings of LIGO.  Below, is a picture of me [right] when I was a graduate student and a very good friend (and fellow graduate student) Tiffany Summerscales [left] by one of the vacuum chambers inside the LIGO Hanford Observatory (the sister observatory in Washington state to the Louisiana one).  This picture is from August 2004:

Louisiana Science Teachers' Association Meeting & X-Rays

I've been away on travel to the Louisiana Science Teachers' Association (LSTA) Meeting last week in Monroe, LA.  LIGO goes to present workshops and to advertise the Science Education Center (SEC) though a booth in the exhibit hall. 

Our booth in the exhibit hall featured a projection of the LIGO documentary "Einstein's Messengers", the Visible Vibrations exhibit from our exhibit hall, 'snacks' (inexpensive, miniature versions of exhibits that teachers can build and use in their classrooms - the Exploratorium has a nice catalog of 'snacks' here), brochures, and posters.  While it was tiring being on your feet all day interacting with the teachers, it was also extremely rewarding!  One of the most inspiring people I interacted with wasn't even a teacher.  One of the security staff was so fascinated by the Visible Vibrations exhibit, that he kept coming back and interacting with it for most of the day!  To see someone who isn't even our target audience (at least that day) exploring the physics involved was extraordinary.  On top of that, he made some of the most spectacular vibration patterns I've ever seen!

LIGO also presented two one-hour workshops.  The SEC director presented one on motors and I presented another one on the LaserFest kits that I based the LaserFest Teachers' Day on a few weeks ago (you can read more about it here).  I had enough kits for 30 attendees, but my workshop was at the end of the day on Friday and only had about 10 teachers attend.  While I was a little disappointed (my ego had me convinced that EVERYONE would want to come to MY workshop), it was also a blessing in two ways.  The first way is that I got to have a lot more one-on-one time with the teachers and they had much more time to ask deeper questions than they would have normally.  The second way is that there were extra kits to be had.  The teachers seemed quite happy when I told them they got to keep their kits and, when I asked if they would like to take another kit with them to share with other teachers at their school, their faces lit up.  Each and every one of those kits has now found a good home in a Louisiana classroom.

Today in History...

Today is the 115th anniversary of the X-ray (if you hadn't noticed from Google's Doodle for today)!  I can't count how many of these I've had in my life and how many times they have saved me from some medical trouble, everything from dental cavities to finding my kidney stone.

Speaking of which, the X-ray below is after I had a ureteral stent placed between my kidney and my bladder to bypass my kidney stone and allow my kidney to drain.  The stent is clearly visible and the kidney stone is the little shrapnel looking thing about a third of the way down the stent.  The top curl is in my kidney and the bottom is in my bladder.  I am so happy that both the stone and the stent are gone!

What's Inside Me (Literally)

I mentioned in my last post that I've had issues with a kidney stone.  I was putting that mildly.  The stone was impacted and blocked all drainage from my kidney for months.  Because of this, I've lost over half of the function in that kidney (the other one is fine).  I've also had some complications from this, namely that my health started going to wonky about 9 months ago (so guess when they think the kidney stone started giving me issues).

I blew a blood vessel behind my right retina and had other minor hemorrhaging behind the left which gave me a flashy afterimage in my right vision.  I've been seeing a vitreoretinal specialist (retina doctor) for it since then.  I have just gotten the all clear that this has been resolved!

I have also just seen my neurologist (I've had migraines for years).  This wasn't entirely due to the kidney stone issues (although I only started seeing a neurologist once my migraines changed character about 9 months ago - notice a theme?) and this visit was a routine checkup.  I had a CT scan of my brain done when I first started seeing my doctor (it was normal) and asked for a copy of it (how could I pass up a picture of my brain to hang up in my office?).  I recently started playing with the data and have a great 3D rendering of my skull (the rotation is slow, but once it's loaded you can slide the play bar back-and-forth to rotate it as you like):

I've also just seen my urologist again.  It seems that everything has smoothed out for the time being (hooray!) , but we need to check the function of my damaged kidney again early next year to make sure that it isn't getting worse.  For your viewing pleasure, I have also made a nice 3D rendering of the CT I had done in the emergency room when they found the stone.  This video is after I was injected with contrast to make my kidneys and urinary tract light up (I also drank contrast to make my intestines light up as well since they thought I may have had appendicitis).  Notice that my right kidney is smaller than my left, that there isn't anything coming out of the right kidney and, if you look closely, you can see my 7 x 4 mm stone stuck between my kidney and bladder (they eventually had to go in, break it up with a laser and pull it out):

As you can imagine, I've had a busy few days in doctors offices.  This week, I am finishing plans for a teacher professional development workshop that I am leading on the 23rd.  I have learned a lot to share with you ['cause I know that this is right up your alley :) ]!

P.S.  Playing the physicist nerd card really helps in getting copies of scans like this!  :)